it's all my macro skills fault

was having a family lunch at a crowded chinese restaurant in Penang, called Feng Wei 风味 ... then my in-law found something on the "Nestum prawn". I found that it's interesting so I took a snap shot of it using Lumix's macro, while waiting for the waiter. The small plate was taken away without any explanation nor comment. The whole plate of nestum prawn dish was not touched since then. Eventually, one of the "captain" showed up like 30 mins later and asked what's happening. Explained the incidence and finding, plus there were few prawns already consumed to her. But she was not convinced as she said she didn't see any plate or food taken back. Then finally, showed this shot taken earlier and she mumbled and frown saying will remove this dish from the bill...hmmmm...and without a word nor "sorry" to close this little chapter of a Father's Day afternoon (if I am not mistaken for the date).
The feeling is not good and I am blaming myself for not having a good macro skill, or I should have haul the 105mmf2.8 micro + the flash light out for lunch. For us adult stomach, a dead little cockroach should be tolerate-able... And most of all, I hope the 2 kids and a pregnant in-law would be ok and not having negative impact on their health or well being.

freedom?

driving the whole morning out of town, ok, out of my usual domain, has been an exciting and yet DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO kind of experience. Believe averaging at 160 at these ungodly hours should be acceptable...it's so dark and patches of heavy rain...all these just propelled me to run faster and to get to the next "civilization". Also, frustration and stresses built for the passed few months were like a catalyst, backnurner...haha...still not able to touch 180 somehow...to chicken I guess. The feel is good but when reaching the city, the traffic congestion does remind me of how free I was...and the ugly side of the city...the dirty toilet, greasy food (well, no choice, as this is the only thing open at my destination business site), and the ceiling fan was so fan that I have to shift to another table as it was chilly with the rain outside. and of course, the cold face of people, business people, cab driver, clerk, waiter... it just add more coldness to the overall atmosphere...I bet when addeded up, it bring the morning temperature down to below 25C... it read 25C on dashboard.

The meeting was fast, efficient and like a breeze...I only able to finish up 5 pages of Prisoner of Birth while waiting for my turn...thought I am gonna need a netbook (i am trying to make full use of it) and the book...haha...all set and a happy occasion so far. and NOW, WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? sitting at Burger King...sipping black coffee, my 3rd since early hours...watching people walks by...I have all afternoon or all day...but what to do? go find the books I wanted to buy/browse at kikokuniya? or just wasting time on internet or just sit outside and enjoy the morning (well, close to noon now) sun or breeze or drizzle?  no complaint...just trying to figure out what's next...cannot believe I really lost in a FREE morning/day...where is my roadmap/milestone/just simply a freakin' planner?

:)

Alternative

Consider myself pretty much a conservative; a person earns his money for living and taking care of family and live in a world without much government intervention (small goverment) and no hand from the government into my pocket (was it last week income tax deadline?). And do welfare by voluntary, not mandatory. An idol on this kind of philosophy was Reagan, the actor? as the Doc asked in disbelief in Back to the Future :) OK, he is gone. Ron Paul is still around.

When I bumped into this article Going Dutch, it surprised me the OTHER side in fact is not as bad as most (conservatives) said or projected, at least from US stand point.  Read on some notes I have captured (of course, full credits to the author):

1. 52% income tax...WTF!!! note: if added up all taxes in US, it's close as well. 35% is max for income tax in US.

2. 4 weeks of vacation time, minimum, and by law. in some part of the world, it's called annual leave

3. vacation money (yes, check will be mailed before summer holiday. 8% of annual salary from employer on of the salary - you get 108%. if unemployed, it will be provided by government at base amount, to make you a better person for the next job opportunity-it keeps you from depressed)

4. school book (if you have kids)

5. child benefit (until 18yrs old, it pays quarterly. because the government believe it's costly to bring up children)

6. childcare (for small kids, ~$14000 per year as reported), the benefits start when the child is born, with people come to do the laundry for ya and housework for the first couple of days, then the childcare and so on...

7. more collabortation among the government, the employer, and the employee, for joint interest. In US, unions and employers are adversaries.

8. the social-welfare kind of socialism system follows Martin Luther and Franscis of Asiss, not Karl Marx.

9. the Dutch is free marketers, one of the pioneers in stock market - capitalism!!! 

10. They are also being fair, almost everyone covered by medical, rich or poor, the difference, for something extra, you pay. 

11. Illegal to refuse to a client from insurance company, or to charge more for age or health condition

12. no endless forms or concern over malpractice over medical  - it is just go in and see the doctor, with house call for elderly - huh? what's that?

13. the Dutch still complained about the government, no lesser than the US but they believe in society. So, smoke all you can, the insurance will still cover at same price?

14. 1/3 housing is social housing where qualified people buy at lower price. One can still keep+live there from school days (low pay) until...well, one still can live there even already highly paid many years later

15. most shop closes when you are off work - same business hour for many...!@#$%^& I cannot live without 24hr grocery

16. these people are lazy who lives on government handout? they are more productive per the working hours, and in fresh and calm manner

17. almost none business email during off hour...WHAT DO YOU MEAN???

18. Dutch kids are ranked #1 whereas US ranked bottom 2 among kid well-being in 21 developed countries.

And the last lines: what if I have a heart attack? what happens when I turn 65? something to ponder with, seriously...am I living in a better environment, socio-, financially (hey, close to half of total income can be net income - real net income)...college fund? what college fund?

it could be a much rosier picture than the reality? ...but there is always an alternative...

TOP TEN

1. There is a future here and of course, career prospectus as well...have to say out loud in front of the mirror after brushing teeth in the morning ... you just have to believe the secret of the Secret.
2. The air conditioning is good...one has to wear sweater sometimes.
   
3. Like being thrown at the pool and swim, if one make it without drowning, then one is OK... for the first year. 
4. Free hand, pretty much, given at work. Results count - Yeah! Machiavellian rules!
5. The name is big (business as well), even though there're people who quit and joining solar panel maker saying that's so many computer people can have.
6. The rule of two - the great divide: US and non-US, it ranges from project, payroll, strategy, invention, to free coffee at the cafe: Starbuck or something else. Bottomline...it can never be equal, face it!
7. The CEO's cube is just double or maybe tripple than the size of average employee, huh? what about the mahogany desk and the glass panel with a view behind the Man? - what desk? what glass panel?
8. The real work starts at 5...after a full day of meetings
9. People complains for only working half a day...base on 24hr day. 
10. The boss is saying you manage (yeah!) and own your career!!!

无题

I don't know why these keep popping into my mind these days. Let's start with the famous poet of Sung Dynastry苏东坡. If one have read神雕侠侣, then this poem should not be distant...

 《江城子·乙卯正月二十日夜记梦》 苏轼

　　十年生死两茫茫,不思量,自难忘。千里孤坟,无处话凄凉。纵使相逢不相识,尘满面,鬓如霜。 夜来幽梦忽还乡。小轩窗,正梳妆。相顾无言,惟有泪千行。料得年年断肠处,明月夜,短松冈。

The last part of the poem, is so crisp and suddenly stopped...it's brilliant and yet so sad, it brought a sudden end to this poem but it also leaves an endless thought and wondering...

I want to believe

because as of now, it seems like it's doom (pretty much) and with indescribable pain for having cancer. Haven't read or research (google) much about the cure of it, other than seeing the after effect of chemo, radioactive treatment, surgery...it's a totally different person. Not to mention about the emotional side of it - it will turn one into someone you don't know, as many would probably be given the verdict from doctor - cannot guarantee, therefore fatality rate is very high. Not to mention people got some part of the body removed (cut, chop, slice...) , which is also not guaranteed...the chances of making it - to recover? well, honestly, how do they come out with a figure like 50%, 30% and so on. Therefore, would it be better not knowing this plug-from-the-air-numbers? Oh no, "they" have proof per study. Who are "they"? where are "they"? if one start digging, it's either getting a cold face from the doctors or with better + more humane doctors, they could link it to some huge medical drug companies. These are the people who do the study + research to show that their drugs "work", some sort...and it's tested by FDA. Well, these people are also selling these drugs for profit, big huge humongous profit. Approved or not approved FDA, would you check? if approved, what's the success rate? what's the side effect? during the critical and desperate circumstances, one most likely will take whatever the medical insurance can cover and offer by the doctor or medical institution. Ok, now I am lost about what I wanted to say in the beginning...damn, the title is not about what Molder pinned on his cubicle wall about UFO :)

I received a forwarded message (so does many in my social circle) about a miracle drug; natural, not too difficult to find, 10000x better than the chemo (more effective) and only kill the bad cells, not the healthy cells, and no known side effect? too good to be true? well, according to the message, this drug was used by the natives in Amazon (not the online store) for long long time - by the medicine men to cure many deceases. It was then picked up by a drug company, huge one (would like to know which one), and spent millions onto research. Per the message, it was concluded after many years - it works miraculously. Except it cannot be patented (to protect this IP) because it is a natural material. So the company spent more to research to duplicate something like this drug but failed. In short, there is no way in hell the drug can be protected or only this company can be protected monetary wise (ain't non-profit org). The research was shelved and sealed from seeing the sky again. Then, it was leaked by someone with a heart (go watch The Insider, Russell Crowe & Al Pacino, yeah!!!)...here we are, with high chance drug coming from a tree/plant that cure a "small" suffering of today humankind sitting there, where millions pumped into various researches (from government and medical bills), searching for a cure and yet IP protected solution, and continue the sale and marketing of those non-guarantee drugs - which eventually will bring more suffering to the patients and the patients loved ones - most of the time. Cannot say these other drugs are completely useless. It's all because of monetary gain - not millions, it's in billions...drug companies, medical institutions, and well, the insurance companies as well. It's like head they win, tail they win as well. 

Anyone asking, why these people keep pushing for curing and not about how to prevent cancer, prevention is better than cure - see the Hippocratic Oath modern version, where many physicians need to take during graduation, something like a lawyer call to bar (in British system). Would it better to educate people preventing this deadly decease than marketing the non-guarantee drug, which also makes the patient bankrupt after passing away...hmmm, that's the new legal issue, who is going to pick up the bill when the patient's gone?

hmmm.....see some similarities of drug company, medical insurer, FDA, and the patient...

Wall Street banker => SEC Commissioner => Wall Street banker. And the taxpayer is ???

Wall Street banker => Sec of Treasury => Wall Street banker. And the taxpayer is ???

check this: http://www.hsibaltimore.com/articles/hsi_2001ds/hsi_200101_awb9.html

try google: graviola tree cancer cure

Again, I want to believe there is cure out there, it's just being covered up. And I believe there are ways to prevent it from happening. And put it this way; when a pipe leaked, other than fixing the leakage, one should check if the pressure at the source is too high that this pipe cannot take it. Keep patching the leakage spot may not prevent it from happening again...and our body ain't no pipe, it's flesh, organic, and a live form, it can fix itself when there is not so much toxic dumping from the mouth.

An oath is still an oath

Many may not notice or know of there is an oath taken by doctor prior to practice medicine, western medicine in this case. It's call Hippocratic Oath, it's believed written by Hippocrates, the father of western medicine. It serves as a ethical, moral and profession code for physician (and surgeon, I believe) - medical students need to take this oath during their graduation, as it is still practice today, in many med schools. Yes, it's many, not all schools, and now it is not obligatory and taken by all physicians. There are a modern version of it written in 1964 by a US medical college dean and of course the classic or original version, 4th century BC.

I was struck when I was watching the begining of Pathology, where the oath is shown...read about it long time ago...but it become a refresher when I glanced at the lines on screen. And it even struck me further - in what kind of medical care/treatment/diagnosis some of us received from some doctors, hospitals, specialist centres... long waiting lines, astromical medical bill - cannot question nor ask for itemization, credit card/cash deposit upfront, medical insurance card, which company you work for, "...google it if you want to know about it...", "it's like that (damn, it sounds like car mechanic/technician)"...

ok, first thing first, do you think you get real diagnosis and given consultation to get better or better - how to prevent getting sick? it depends on one's luck. With all respect, there are still many good doctors around and caring medical institutions that not looking at if one has medical insurance card or under employment of a huge western corporation. I do still see doctor when/where necessary.

I personally find that, if I run out of luck, I may be just treated as a piece modular mechandise - each part of my body will be priced differently in the eyes of medical care provider. And based on personal experience and others' experience - most of the times, I do doubt I would be treated as a patient as described in the oath...I feel more like I am a paying customer who doesn't have an alternative...and sometimes the customer care is so bad and unreliable + unacceptable that I doubt I would be really cured - it could be worsen if I stay on it longer, and the care/treatment given is based on how much my insurance can cover. Or just to be safe, ask the physician to spell it out, again, of the oath - when one is not sure if he/she is really providing a professional care for one, with ethical basis. So help me/us God!

note: readings of the original and modern version (do check out the prevention is better than cure portion at the modern version)

.................original as translated into English (wikipedia)....................
“I swear by Apollo, Asclepius, Hygieia, and Panacea, and I take to witness all the gods, all the goddesses, to keep according to my ability and my judgment, the following Oath.
To consider dear to me, as my parents, him who taught me this art; to live in common with him and, if necessary, to share my goods with him; To look upon his children as my own brothers, to teach them this art.
I will prescribe regimens for the good of my patients according to my ability and my judgment and never do harm to anyone.
I will not give a lethal drug to anyone if I am asked, nor will I advise such a plan; and similarly I will not give a woman a pessary to cause an abortion.
But I will preserve the purity of my life and my arts.
I will not cut for stone, even for patients in whom the disease is manifest; I will leave this operation to be performed by practitioners, specialists in this art.
In every house where I come I will enter only for the good of my patients, keeping myself far from all intentional ill-doing and all seduction and especially from the pleasures of love with women or with men, be they free or slaves.
All that may come to my knowledge in the exercise of my profession or in daily commerce with men, which ought not to be spread abroad, I will keep secret and will never reveal.
If I keep this oath faithfully, may I enjoy my life and practice my art, respected by all men and in all times; but if I swerve from it or violate it, may the reverse be my lot.”

..............Hippocratic Oath—Modern Version (from PBS).............

I swear to fulfill, to the best of my ability and judgment, this covenant:I will respect the hard-won scientific gains of those physicians in whose steps I walk, and gladly share such knowledge as is mine with those who are to follow.I will apply, for the benefit of the sick, all measures [that] are required, avoiding those twin traps of overtreatment and therapeutic nihilism.I will remember that there is art to medicine as well as science, and that warmth, sympathy, and understanding may outweigh the surgeon's knife or the chemist's drug.I will not be ashamed to say "I know not," nor will I fail to call in my colleagues when the skills of another are needed for a patient's recovery.I will respect the privacy of my patients, for their problems are not disclosed to me that the world may know. Most especially must I tread with care in matters of life and death. If it is given me to save a life, all thanks. But it may also be within my power to take a life; this awesome responsibility must be faced with great humbleness and awareness of my own frailty. Above all, I must not play at God.I will remember that I do not treat a fever chart, a cancerous growth, but a sick human being, whose illness may affect the person's family and economic stability. My responsibility includes these related problems, if I am to care adequately for the sick.I will prevent disease whenever I can, for prevention is preferable to cure.I will remember that I remain a member of society, with special obligations to all my fellow human beings, those sound of mind and body as well as the infirm.If I do not violate this oath, may I enjoy life and art, respected while I live and remembered with affection thereafter. May I always act so as to preserve the finest traditions of my calling and may I long experience the joy of healing those who seek my help.Written in 1964 by Louis Lasagna, Academic Dean of the School of Medicine at Tufts University, and used in many medical schools today.

..................................................

江城

bumped into this "couple" picture, taken couple years ago at the spot where 汉水(Han Sui) joins 长江(ChangJiang). Find that it's touching of the scene where the couple holding hands and staring at the foggy rivers. Utilized the remaining 30mins prior to night fall taking some pictures... It's cold that day as I had to wear a vest and jacket during a meeting earlier the afternoon - guess what...heater is not a standard feature for WuHan area infrastructure. As suggested from Mr Octopus, foggy/greyish day shots can be turned into black and white - which will create another feel, as I was pretty disappointing that moment as all shots were so "grey" or "blue" because of the temperature and the weather...it turns out pretty good as attached at the collage-turned into gray scale+increase contrast+increase gamma+increase blue a little (to keep the cold feel), 3 years later ...that was my very first trip bringing a dSLR. 江城(river city) is another name of 武汉(Wuhan).

note: the trees shot, stone bridge, house reflection shots were shot at 东湖(Dong Hu). The rest on right were taken at the spot where the two rivers join.

Happy Valentine & 364-day!

It's kind of quiet this year for Valentine's (and so did the CNY). Maybe I just don't go out or social that much? where've I been all this while? All I heard/seen is the couple package meal at Soba Yoshi, RM100++ In fact, it's for 2, haha...not a bad deal consider the pricing there. When walking at the mall, somehow, I didn't notice there is Valentine's day "thing"... where's the chocolate / teddy's bear / card and most important the flowers? and all the pink thing?

Not that kind of "romantic" person to celebrate this day for "lovers" or just simply good friend (in US, not couple also can celebrate this)...but would like to celebrate or wish in another way...happy 364 day + today, why just restrained to ONE day...be generous and sincere, make it all year long! if can afford, dine out all year long at your choice...from Lorong Pencuri to Ferrighi Grill/The View (well, if in PG) and those places in between...or the special chef's choice at the 1 table place in town...or simply I cook and throw in a bottle of Lafite? plus the flowers on the left...my favorite "duo"

Happy Valentine & wish you happy on the other 364-day :)

shame on them

i just cannot believe it when I read the headlines on nytimes.com: Obama Calls Wall Street Bonuses ‘Shameful’ . It's about bonuses payout to Wall Street executives in about $18.4B for the year 2008. Yes, it's for 2008, the year the earth "stood still" looking at the financial system meltdown, and it's a B for billion which is a common term these days. It's either this or last week, 65000 job loss in US, which added to the bigger pool of millions unemployed in US alone - thanks to the media/research firm/government and so many groups/orgs that can spit out some useful data for others to chew on. For the rest of the world, it's up to the government to tell the truth, or sort of the truth or, just simply BS all the way.

What's bothering me is the executives/big bosses/senior management will still get the bonuses, usually, it is just too big to imagine, and it's their fault for mismanagement, big part of it, to bring the company down or worst, bring the nation system down? It's not just the financial big boys...it's the same for many big corporations..."yes, it's been a bad year, so there goes the bonuses for the employees"...remember the usual statement? "but, I still get mine and the rest of my VP's" Don't the executives supposed to take the helm to run the company and be responsible for the outcome of it...profitable or loss? and it's the grass root of the company that help to build/develop/manufacture/crank out the product/service.

In fact, it's the grass root working level people who takes the biggest hit...what bonus? if the job or same pay is secured, that's good enough---is the common thinking in mind for many. The working class including management too, the lower level ones, and the rest - these people are either use their brain or hands or both. For many, with pay or without is like with food on the table or not. The job is not about how to get to the next level of VP or CEO or the CEO at another company or their next level of career or a big bonus. It's about how to help the company to be profitable, healthier, and so on . I hope I still get this right.

I am not surprise, honestly, when I read the news...it's just happening again and again. yeah, it may get fixed...time will tell. For the time being...yes, shame on them.

note: I do strongly believe in free market and little government (and intervention)

could it be the last....?

there is an update in couple of hours...it could be bad news. The atmosphere during lunch today seems overclouded with this incoming event...is this the "farewell lunch" was the best joke I have heard during the 7-8 courses lunch. I would admit, I didn't expect to attend my first pre-CNY lunch with top guns which was in such a mixed feeling - to celebrate a year (per lunar calender) of hard work with good results, and the fear of no increment, pay-cut, or worst, layoff. Sometimes, I am wondering why there is such a coincidence why a bad thing starts brewing while something good have just happened?
even attention was pointed to Obama, if he can do the right thing to revive the economy by spending right on public work/sectors. yeah, do the right thing right is the key!
Does all these affect me? hell, yeah! well, not so much. I am just sad over how other feel. Whatever or wherever the cut it is on spending...there is not much to spend already, therefore, there is no real cut for me :) just come and come quickly, i am just sick of waiting...The cut I am expected, is to cut the bad stuff/feel/fear/negative thoughts from all of us, so we can move forward in a positive mood or manner. YEAH!!!

call me sexist3

note: credit goes to the person created the "flowchart"

call me sexist2

lighter side of the day...
note: credit goes to the person created the "flowchart"

call me sexist

note: credit goes to the person created the "flowchart"

Two & Half Pint

Gloomy and doom-my are what I observed daily, as seen on people's faces or maybe their mind...mine too, maybe I just read too much Michael Lewis and Paul Krugman. But their point of view is simply intriguing...in short, all these were just man made, out of greed and everything is about short term gaining and to hell with the rest/world. Yeah, it may be applied to a great proportion of the population, the rich is getting filthy rich, the poor is getting poorer...to many, those in between well, still get poorer, and have to work 2-4 times more. No matter how, it is still a short term, definitely it is not going to last for the rest of my life, and many people's lives. Yeah, it ain't no rosie picture, but there is still tomorrow, sun rising from the East. Why don't we just make the best out of it during the bad times, to come out stronger, better, and a more beautiful mind?
-written after a 20-hr work/staying awaken and 2.5 pint of guinness, draught :